How can I stop putting off doing something about it?
Begin by asking yourself, “Who am I rebelling against?” Is there a particular authority figure in your current life? Linked to them, is there a caretaker/authority figure from your childhood? A parent, coach, or teacher whom you experienced as a taskmaster?
As children, we may have caretaker/authority figures who give us the message “we have to be perfect to be good enough.” Their love is conditional, based on performance. This can cause us to experience anger toward them. But as children, we also love and respect them and want to please. So, instead of experiencing that anger directly we suppress it.
But suppressing anger doesn’t mean it goes away. It may resurface later, as passive aggressive behavior, such as procrastination. It’s like saying, “I’ll do what you want but I’ll do it in my own good time.” Or “You can’t expect it to be perfect because I did it at the last minute.”
One solution is ISTDP- intensive short-term dynamic psychotherapy. To put it simply, the treatment is to experience, in therapy, the anger you feel toward current and past authority figures. Experiencing anger doesn’t mean discharging anger. True experiencing of anger can eliminate future procrastination as a way of rebelling.
Disclaimer:
Please note that this blog is based largely on my experience and the training I have received over the thirty years I have practiced psychotherapy as a post-master’s degree Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and not based on my own scientific studies. ISTDP is an evidence-based approach to psychotherapy supported by the research of psychiatrist Dr. Allan Abbass, among others. To learn more about ISTDP, visit the ISTDP.CA website. Also please note that a blog is not a substitute for direct treatment of mental or physical health issues. It is merely an offer of suggestions which may prompt you to attend to symptoms with licensed mental and physical health professionals.
This blog about psychology is general information shared for educational purposes and it is the opinion of the author. It is not psychological therapy and it is not directed toward any individual person. For links to evidence-based research on some of the different modalities mentioned in these blogs, click here…