Couples Communication Therapy
People depicted in image are not actual counseling clients of Mike Fatula MS, LMFT
In couples therapy, I teach a communications process that fosters non-defensive listening, also known as active listening.
This process helps you…
- Not interrupt, talk over, or yell at your partner
- Not engage in “tit-for-tat” or “can-you-top-this?” arguing
- Get in each other’s shoes to understand how each of you thinks feels, and behaves
- Talk from the purpose of understanding rather than proving your partner wrong
- Learn the difference between understanding and agreeing
- Learn the difference between what you intend to communicate and the actual consequence of your communication for your partner
- Learn that the way you say something is just as important as what you say
- Learn to identify the problem before asking for a change in behavior
- Learn that how you ask for love may be getting in the way of receiving it
- Learn how to restore respect for yourself and your partner
- Learn the themes of your arguments: what the arguments mean underneath the words on the surface
- Learn to experience anger without imploding or exploding.
The feelings part of this behavioral therapy communications process is being enhanced by my current study of EFT, emotionally focused therapy for couples.